im having a threesome with these popsicles
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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