I wanna bring you to show and tell
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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