I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
