Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
