I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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