i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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