I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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