Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
