It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
