apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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