Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
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He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
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I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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