I can text with my tongue
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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