I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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