somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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