hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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