glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I party with great urgency now.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
