forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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