Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize