Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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