What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
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The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My liver just had a heart attack.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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