Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
This is my gift to your gina
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
