just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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