just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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