Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
