Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize