Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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