Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
