i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
