My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
you didnt know i had herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize