I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
i am craving dick and cupcakes
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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