Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
