You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
