break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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