thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
