I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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