they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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