Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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