I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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