Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize