Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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