so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The adults are the big ones right?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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