Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
