yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
