I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money