He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
two words...techno handjob
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt