I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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