what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
