Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
