My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
