How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
