I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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