I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
