I want to walk on stilts...naked
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
