You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
