everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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