We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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