this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
