Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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